we need to laugh sometimes

Mrs. Tanoy is very kuripot. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary.The ad taker replied: '300 pesos for 5 words.'She said: 'Pwede ba 2 words lang? "Tanoy dead''Ad taker: 'No mam. 5 words is the minimum.'After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: 'Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo :'TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE '

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Boy: Nay may ulam ba?Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.Boy: Eh nay, wala naman tayong ref, di ba?Nanay: O, e di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense naman dyan!

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Caloy: Tay, di ba sabi nyo bibigyan nyo ko ng P100 pag pumasa ako sa Math?Tatay: Oo. Bakit, pumasa ka ba?Caloy: Gud news, tay! Di ka na gagastos ng P100.

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Man at 33 quits smoking. Will Power;At 43, quits drinking. Will Power;At 53, quits gambling. Will Power;At 63, quits having sex. Power Failure.

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Kano (trying to speak Tagalog): Meg-kanow isang kilow mang-gow?Tindero: One way.Kano: Meg-kanow?Tindero: I sed ONE WAY.Kano: Aynowng ibig sabeyhin ng one way?Tindero: Isang daan. Understang?!

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Erap: Kalokohan! Di ako naniniwala! Walang taong ganun kataba!Loi: San ang balitang yan?Erap: Dito sa dyaryo. Sabi; 'British tourist lost 2000 pounds.'

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MMDA (with pen and ticket to a traffic violator):Name?Foreigner Driver: Wilhelm Von Corgrinski Papakovitz.MMDA: Ahhh okay...(sabay tago ticket)...Next time be careful, ok?

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BF: Sunduin kita mamaya ha. Bubusina nalang ako pag nasa harap nako ngbahay nyo.GF: Cge. Anong sasakyan ang dala mo?BF: Wala. Busina lang...-

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Nag-aapply si Tomas na security guard...Interviewer: Ang kailangan namin ay taong laging may suspicious mind,highly alert, insistent personality, strong sense of hearing with akiller instinct. Sa tingin mo ba qualified ka?Tomas: Sa palagay ko po hindi. Pwede po bang yun misis ko nalang angmag-apply?

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Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, she HAS TO.But....when HE cancels a date......he HAS TWO.

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unior: Nay, bibili ako ng HIGH CAKE.Nanay: Hindi high cake, anak. HOT CAKE yun.Junior: Ok nay, watever. Pahingi nalang ng barya.Nanay: Sige, kumuha ka nalang dyan sa SOLDIER BAG ko.

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Pasyente ... magkano ang facelift?Doktora ... complete treatment ay P145,000Pasyente ... mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment paramagmukha akong bata?Doktora ... heto tsupon, P20 lang!!

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ORDERCustomer ... waiter! bakit ang tagal ng order ko? ilan ang cooknyo dito?Waiter ... ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito...pipse lang po!!

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PROBLEMA NGAPasyente ... Doc, may problema ako...tuwing alas otso ng umagadumudumi ako...Doktor ... so, anong problema doon?Pasyente ... Eh alas nuwebe po ako nagigising.

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PINTURAErap ... Honey, nagpintura ako ng banyo.Loi ... Bakit dalawa ang suot mong jacket, ang init, init !!!Erap ... Sabi kasi sa label, for best results put on 2 coats.

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MANNY PAKYAWReporter ... Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag congressman ka na?Manny ... Ano'ng bill? yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng bawa'tround sa bukseng?

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HOLDAPLola ... Amang, wala akong pera!Holdaper ... Alam ko kung asan ang pera mo...[sabay pasok ng kamay sa bra ni Lola]Lola ... Ituloy mo iho, may dollars pa sa ibaba!!

Thanks for sharing (PEBORIT)

PERFECT EXAMPLE OF LAKAS NG LOOB

Lakas ng loob ng Pinoy, maski anong trabaho papasukin Yan ang tunay na Pinoy. Maski san mo itapon o kanino mo iharap, walang takot at handang makipaglaban. Kaya nga nagkalat na tayo sa buong mundo. Maski saang sulok ng mundo, may Pinoy.

................. Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room.

One candidate was MARIO DIMAYUGA. Bill Gates: "Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave." (for those no computer savvy: JAVA is a computer programming language) 2,000 people left the room. MARIO said to himself, "I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try."

Bill Gates: "Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave." 2000 people left the room. Mario said to himself, "I never managed anybody but myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?" So he stayed.

Bill Gates: "Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave." 500 people left the room. Mario said to himself, "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?" So he stayed in the room. Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo- Croat to leave. 498 people left the room. Mario says to himself, "I do not speak one word of Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose?" So he stayed and found himself with one other candidate. Everyone else had gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said "Apparently you two are the only candidates who speak Serbo-Croat, so I'd now like to hear you converse in that language.

" Calmly, Mario turned to the other candidate and said, "Kumusta ka, pare ko." The other candidate answered, "Mabuti naman, ikaw?"

Source: shared email

Stress Buster

They say cats have nine lives, but it looks like you have more! Everyday, you play different roles and you perform different functions. That’s why at the end of each day you feel so worn-out and beaten down. You’ve stressed and stretched yourself too much! Guess what? THIS HAS GOT TO STOP! As the old adage goes “one must stop and smell the roses”, so should you go out and take a breather from work once in a while. And what better way to start than through these simple and easy stress relievers!

Breathe in… breathe out…
Taking big gulps of air is one way to help calm the nerves. Experts say that deep breathing exercises contribute to healthier and longer lives. In the middle of a stressful day, why not take a few minutes off to just sit, relax and breathe. By bringing those breaths way down to the pit of your stomach, your body will start to calm down and will enter a more relaxed state.

Laugh
They say that laughter is the best medicine, and it’s true! Laughing stimulates the production of mood-enhancing hormones called endorphins. No wonder you feel a distinct kind of high after a good laugh! It’s the endorphins kicking in! In fact, laughing helps reduce stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

Power nap
Manage stress by taking a quick nap. Research studies reveal that a nap can help reduce stress and improve cognitive functioning. After power napping, chances are you will have less stress but more productive output.

Take some time off!
Give yourself a much-needed “me-time”! Go to the spa or take time to catch up on that book you’ve always wanted to read. Or you can take a stroll to a nearby park or go biking. It doesn’t matter what kind of activity you’ll end up doing, but the important thing here is for you to take time to relax and have fun. A day of rest can do wonders to your mind and body. It will give you the energy and enthusiasm that you’ll need to face the world once more!

Excellent example of fake photography

Photo manipulation is really a wonderful art. Its Uses, Culture impact, and ethnical concerns have made it a subject of interest beyond the technical process and skills involved. Photo manipulation gives a realistic view of an unreal life.

Broken Arms

Coffee Break

Water World

Fishy Island

Long Run

Tough Job

Deep and Commited Friend

A friend is friendly, happy, and playful, too. A friend doesn't yell at you. (no no no we does) ... You play with each other all the times.

For me, a real friend hates you, yell at you, text you something hurtful and after all he/she will bow down at you asking for apology with deep confession. That's the meaning of a real friend.

Deep and commited friend is a vow that you yourself (all alone) signed an imaginary contract that you will love your friend(s) unconditionally for better or for worst. Treat them as your brothers or sisters.

I have a lot of friends, but few bestfriends, though all of them has their best characteristics but few are chosen to be my partner in crime. In this battle of life called "LIVING" none of us doesn't want to conquer without the platoon members.

In life you don't have to choose friends, you just have to wait for a perfect friend.

and perfect doesn't have to be 100 percent, it should be 50/50 for you to see the real ONE.

You committed to be his/her friend in the first place, but you don't have to give the full blast of being you.

Bottom line is, "Committed friend" is just like a flavour and spices of every dishes. So savor every moment you have each other. Live as if it is your last day.

I Personally don't believe in the conclusions of this saying:

Tell me who your friends are and I tell you who you are.

Because my life is full of surprises. Friends are touch and go. Only Committed one do stay.

You don't have to judge ones life by his/her environment. All you have to do is look deep down inside his heart then think in reverse, who am I judging him for having the kind of friends he has.